Today it is Valentine’s Day and we spend time trying to be enough and show our love enough to the people in our lives. With small gestures, we tell our people how much we love them. We plan dinners or buy chocolates. We hang paper hearts around the house so the kids will see a visual representation of how much space they hold in our hearts. We help them fill out their Valentines for the school parties and take heart cookies for the kids to decorate. But, we often forget to take time to love ourselves and to remember that we are enough.
Today, on Valentine’s Day, I think you need to hear this. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough. Can you take a deep breath and repeat this to me? I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.
You’re all your child needs. You’re all your partner needs. You’re all your friends need. You’re all your parents need. You’re all your siblings need. You’re all your job needs. You are a fantastic mother, partner, sister, daughter, friend, worker, and you are doing enough.
You are doing enough for your children — loving her, loving him, loving them. Your children are safe, healthy and happy, and on days they aren’t, you do your best to make sure they are. We live in this day and age where we sometimes feel as if we are not enough and we’re not doing enough. We rush from one activity to another and all the while, we feel guilty we are not doing enough. Is she eating enough good food? Did I breastfeed enough? Am I reading to him enough? Is the school he’s in enough? Did I say enough about how much I love her? Did I relay to him enough how important he is to us? Is he safe enough and ready enough to venture into the world without me? Is she sleeping enough? Are we traveling enough? Are we exposing them to enough? Is there enough money to get them all they need? Am I home enough? Am I present enough? Am I doing enough? Am I a good enough example?
We take classes to continue our own education; we are done with our schooling; we never continued our formal education at all. We work outside of the home full-time; we work part-time; we are stay-at home-moms. We help to care for our parents; we help our friends with their kids; we help even when maybe we shouldn’t. We make homemade bread; we make friends; we make enemies; we make jelly so our children have their favorite jam for their toast. We speak with great thought; we speak without thinking; we speak too little; we speak too much. We mail presents; we mail letters; we mail bills. We plan board meetings; we plan Pinterest worthy birthday parties; we plan lessons; we plan for our futures. We rush to get our run in; we rush to work; we rush to the store. We attempt to have wine with friends; we attempt to get a shower in peace; we attempt to sit on our couch for just five minutes to read our book, started a month ago and never finished. We try to put laundry away for days; we try to make it to our big presentation on time; we try to be supportive of our friends. We run houses; we run companies; we run ourselves into the ground. We are confident; we are strong; we are insecure; we are many things in many forms. But we all worry at times that we’re not enough.
Today, on Valentine’s Day, I want you to know that you are enough. Spend some time this week saying those words to yourself. When you’re overwhelmed, tell yourself: I am enough.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Mama Meditations: This column is published weekly on Sundays, by Kara Lawler, right here on the Mama Lovejoy blog. Kara also writes on her own blog, Mothering the Divide, about the divide that is mothering our children, our spirits, and the sacred. Come, join Kara’s tribe on Facebook or Twitter. For more information on the Mama Meditations column, please visit the Mama Mediations page. If you enjoyed this article and you’d like to see more from Mama Meditations or from Mama Lovejoy, you can follow Mama Lovejoy on Facebook, or @Mamalovejoy1 on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and Periscope.