I Carry You In My Heart


By Kara Lawler from Mothering the Divide


My son is a kindergartner and each day, I write him a simple, short note and put it in his lunch box. I try to make the notes a little original with drawings or questions. Other times, I try to root the note in what’s going on that week, but mostly, because I’m in a hurry, I just write a simple, “I Love You. Love, Mama.” And, for almost two months, he didn’t say anything about my notes other than to thank me for writing them. But, I kept writing them because I wanted him to have a small piece of home in his lunch box. The process was as much for me as it was for him.

Today, I noticed the small pocket on the front of his gray and orange lunch box was unzipped.   When I went to zip it back up, I saw a small piece of white sticking out. Upon further investigation, I found all of my notes. ALL of them. He had saved each note, tucking it away in his lunch box. When I asked him about it, he told me he had been saving them and that he loved reading them each day. He explained that some of the moms volunteer at lunch time, but since I’m at school teaching, I can’t. And sometimes, it makes him sad that I’m not there. He said, “But the notes always remind me that you love me and that you’re in my heart.” Some days, he reads all of the notes again while he eats his lunch.

I truly hadn’t realized how much the notes meant to him and that he counted on them each day. Sometimes, we just don’t know if what we do really makes a difference to someone or not. All too often, we wait for them to validate our actions or to express gratitude. I believe in gratitude. I teach gratitude to my children; however, I also want them to know that while being kind to someone is a gift to them, it’s also a gift to us. I wrote the notes for my son, but they were also for me. I felt better knowing that he would have a small piece of home with him at school, always and no matter what. And it worked: I felt at peace knowing that he had a small piece of me—my writing—tucked away in his lunch box. And he felt better, as it reminded me that he carries me in his heart, always.

My simple notes to him reminded him that I’m in his heart and really, what greater gift is there for a son to tell his mother? Like e.e.cummings says in one of my favorite poems, I carry him in my heart, too. All day long, he’s tucked right inside my heart. He’s never far from my mind and in the spaces in between our morning departure–the note writing, the walking him to the door of his school, the tying of his shoes, and the last kiss before he walks in the door to start his day—to the end of the day hug, snack, and round table of “what was your favorite part of the day”, this small boy is never far from me. He’s right in my heart and I’m in his.


Friends, this week, write someone you love a note and let them know that they are in your heart, always.

I carry for blog


Kara_lawler_headshotMama Meditations: This column is published weekly on Sundays, by Kara Lawler, right here on the Mama Lovejoy blog. Kara also writes on her own blog, Mothering the Divide, about the divide that is mothering our children, our spirits, and the sacred. Come, join Kara’s tribe on Facebook or Twitter. For more information on the Mama Meditations column, please visit the Mama Mediations page. If you enjoyed this article and you’d like to see more from Mama Meditations or from Mama Lovejoy, you can follow Mama Lovejoy on Facebook, or @Mamalovejoy1 on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and Periscope.

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